letterstomissjain

Like 11 years never happened!

 Damn I miss you

 You were right. No alcohol is supposed to mean no alcohol. Not even a drop. There's nothing like controlled drinking. Or drinking with self control and will power. It's just an oxymoron. Because sooner or later there is gonna be a bad day when the alcohol will take over and you'll only be left with regrets. I agree.  I pity my mom sometimes. To have married my dad. Tolerated his shit for so many years. Left her own self for him. For a classy working lady like you she's just a loser. Just like my sister. And I don't judge you any differently than I judge the rest of the world for judging her. But to me that's love. There is very little love from my dad. And tons of love from my mom.  But that is love.  I just wanted to tell you this. That you were right. And you should never lower your standards.  I can't forgive you for thrashing my mom with your conditions. Considering yourself to be whatever you think you are that motivated you to talk to her like that. I...

 Hey hottie,  I miss you so much. And I hate you for it. Hate that I love you so much that I didn't leave any love for myself. Everything is you. Everyone's you. I spent half of my life telling my friends what's important for me. And now that they're convinced and complying I'm suddenly left ignoring them because I don't want them advocating for you. Or for this breakup. It stings. Every morning. Every night. I haven't been sleeping well ever since I heard you that day. Ever since I heard myself talking to you like that. Feels like my life's done. There aren't any more goals. Any goals. Maybe you knew this was happening. Maybe that's what made you so sure that I'll perish without you. You took good care of me all these years. More like tolerated me well. My soft place to fall. I gave you all my controls. I was happy like that. In your hands. And in your arms.  Now I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm not able to bring myself to leave...

 Hey hottie,  I don't know what this is. This conversation between us. Having said so many things, I don't know how to even begin to fix this. Anoop says that I should just trust you and  the universe on this. Everything I do about this only seems to make it worse. I was away for too long I think. I'll get there. Don't lose all the hope! Don't give up on us yet! Here's something awesome you should remember. I created this blog to write down about the reasons I was taking so long in deciding our fate. A lot of that decision was based on how mom and dad think of you... gut feeling wise. And back then you passed the screening with flying colors. Not that you needed to. I'm glad you did. Mom and dad and di were swept away. I knew who I was committing to and I did. Have stayed so ever since. Sometimes I feel that I'm a super hero with commitment as his super power. Yeah I know. Actions should speak louder... and all... but I like to think that.  Life's wh...