letterstomissjain

DREAMS. Hi Yukti! I'm here again. Had a really bad start today. Due to all the fighting. Though what happened in the afternoon was really affirming. I know it takes a huge toll on you to prove your love to me in words ever time I have one of these attacks of paranoia. I'm calling it that cuz that's how I'd like to think of it. Cuz again acknowledging that there's a different problem than me being paranoid will make me go crazy for sure. God I miss you so much. Every happen person I see these days seems to be from a different world. A world where people stay with their loved ones while making a living and working towards a better world for others. Can't imagine being happy without you. Even now when you set things straight, I am tension free but happiness continues to elude me. It's not fair. I did all that people said I should. Worked hard. Then harder. Then when I found you, I realized that all my material achievements were just a qualifying criteria ...

Hi yukti, I'm here sitting in the ADMO room by myself, trying to keep myself busy after a boring day. Thinking of new things to add to my life like reading voraciously. Or bringing  back the old things like squash. Frustrating as it sounds it got the best of me as well. And I decided to call you. You were out. Didn't say where. Nor did I ask. Though it did build a lump in my throat. But I think I lost the right to expect things out of you long back. Maybe when I smoked before you. Or maybe when I came this far to work. Or maybe I never had that right. Probably it's just my narrow mindedness catching up again. Who said I had the right to expect things from you. Maybe it started when you asked me to stop smoking or drinking. And I thought he'll Yeah. I'll do that for you in return for what you do for me. And then I gradually started expecting things from you in RETURN for my commitment. However it started, I should let you know that I condemn it. And as you might ...