letterstomissjain

Hi there Morphine,    this is a special post. special cuz i am posting this while things are great between us. but still since i mustered the energy to get up and skip my studies and write this, you can understand that  there is something bothering me. but i'll come back to that later. right now i wanna start by saying that you've been an amazing girlfriend to me. and even though you're not gonna read this in time,  i know that someday you're gonna. and all this, whatever i do these days, everything, is for that someday.    12 days left for my final battle with the Indian education system and honestly i don't think i have it in me to face it. every morning when you call to wake me up, i wish that the call never ended. i don't know how you do it, but if i had my way, i would blow up the rest of time in the college and stay with you. in whatever ways possible.    and after you hang up the phone i usually make myself a cup of tea, (from the tea b...

Hi Miss Jain,    Its 23rd September 2016. I want myself to remember this date, but I know I am gonna forget this, so I'm posting this here with the hope that you'll remind me of it if and when i forget this. But please do not think for a moment that i intend to forget this, well you'll know by my actions whether i remember it or not.    As always I wanna apologize to begin with. I'm sorry for all the times that i forced myself on you. Sorry for all those days when I a made you feel belittled. I know I did. i didn't want to. But I did.    I'll keep it short. This I wanna. Cuz I mean it. I'm Sorry for being the man that the society wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I lost sight of myself. But you didn't. I'm thankful for all this patience that you showed. And I PROMISE that I'm gonna respect all the promises I made to you.    -Mr Sharma.

Hi Miss Jain,    it's been long since i posted last. well I had my reasons. Most important of those is my realization that these posts weren't helping. Not you for sure. i mean i know that they put a smile on your face for a moment but it took you less than that to forget everything and lose faith in me.    But here i am writing again. and that's because of another realization that it helps me to just put it out there. Maybe when all is said and done and yet you find yourself unable to put up with me, I can read these and reminisce.    "Yukti Jain" has always been my cue to brush myself up, get myself together, and be the best version of myself. Even now when you're mad at me for one of those reasons where when i apologize i am not even sure what i am apologizing for, I am thinking of ways to make you forget those things. Or at least make you see past those sides of me.    Right now I am feeling sorry as usual but not for the things i said or...

   Hi Miss Jain,     today is a very important day for me. This morning we had a huge fight over what all I expected from you. And I was again Expecting a certain kinda response from you. I mean I understood that you were angry but even then I was expecting something from you. And you not only gave me what I was looking for, you even made me realize how small my expectations were. For that I owe you one 😉.     This one letter is all about how thankful I am to you. And to God for having you.     I'll see you super soon so we'll have more of these "I'm grateful to you"-talks over here.    For now I'll just have you know that I am not gonna blow it this time. A week full of fights, always ends in more fights. But very rarely does it end with a lesson so important as today.     I can't wait to see you so I'll keep the letter short. Cuz I can't type with those Mumford and sons thing going on in my mi...

   Hi Morphine,    It's a Thursday today, middle of the week, when usually the motivation to survive the week is almost exhausted. But for not so strange reasons I feel more pumped up than ever. Having skipped a lot of classes already, may be a factor. But we know what CHANGED.     You know when I saw couples talk about respecting each others' dreams and ambitions, I used to think of it as just some "couple-stuff" that comes naturally once you're into a committed relationship. And so I have to confess, I didn't know the first thing about it.    Easier said than done right?    I understand that this independent nature of yours is a result of being constantly disappointed with my indifferent behavior. Towards you or my career or anything else in my life. Because of how I hurt you with those little things almost everyday. But despite being so mad at me the solution you came up with was to make me the Mr Sharma that I myself have alw...

Hi Morphine,  After almost killing me through this week, finally you're out of the hospital. It'd be super cheesy if I say that I feel super healthy myself after your discharge. But I'll say it anyway. Thank you for taking care of my drug. Can't live without it.   Finally this was a week where we behaved like real couples. E.g I got around the fact that not every guy whom you let around you is a threat to our relationship. And you agreed to change the cannula on your hands just for me. A small gesture but speaks volumes. Someday when you're down and upset, I'll read out those volumes to you. To let you know what gem of a human being you are.     A girl like you attracts many many people and the ones she chooses to be her friends have got to be super special. So trust me when I say that I'll respect all your "friends" blindly just because they are your friends. Now that entails that you have to be super smart at judging people. I won't...

Hi Miss Jain,    Let me apologize to begin with. I am sorry for all the confessions i have to make today. The reason I have been so gloomy all day is because I feel helpless. Helpless because I wanna take the next bus and be in Davangere before the stars go down.i know you want that too. but obviously you must have explained yourself that it's my final year and i just can't come and all those nice things. but the truth is that i can't come because i wasted the last two weeks fighting with you over stupid things and then i would spend the rest of the day repenting in my room and bunk the classes too. Like a self obsessed loser in disguise. I wanna confess to you that I could've been there if not for my lousy attitude towards my classes all week. I could've been with you if I didn't stretch all those fights we had. Hell I could've been with you if I wasn't mad at you for all the mistakes you didn't commit.    Sitting in my room with the book in fr...

Hi Miss Jain, its a Sunday today so despite being in the final year in MBBS i feel i can take a day off and reflect on the week. i intend to make this a habit, so that i can pen down my reflections for future references and maybe use them as a weapon when we fight next :p    please don't mind the syntax as I'm not really used to typing on the keyboard. So, the week began with you leaving for your college. And I must thank you for ensuring that I'm mentally prepared to take the insults of the hectic routine before you left. i try to do the same but evidently I haven't been doing a good job. it is exciting to be so serious about my profession for  once in these four years. I'm putting in more hours and straining my muscles a little more in the process, but it all seems worth it. I don't know about my fellow friends but i can bet that life gets really easy when you have one more reason to excel at something. i feel lucky to have you and i feel that a...