letterstomissjain

 Hi beautiful,  I understand that you're going through something right now.  I hope its not just the job or the covid thats eating you up. You wanna know what changed after you told me a couple of new facts about your of your past? This has changed.  Earlier, after a fight like this I would've thought that the fight might be eating you up. You know since you're committed to me, and in my mind that commitment was based on a solid fact,  so since we had a fight, you must be worried.  But now I know why that may not be happening. You've never felt the pain of seeing me go. Not even a little anxiety over the possibility of me giving up on you.  I used to think that on that night we got committed for good. You found the guy of your dreams and I found my girl. We were apart but we stood the test of time and we finally merged.  Turns out that I was wrong. So wrong.  The guy you loved,  the one from aakash, you gave up on him. You had your reaso...

 Hi beautiful,  "Man is a rope tied between a beast and God- a rope over a deep dark abyss. What is great in a man is that he's a bridge not a goal: What can be loved in a man is that he is an overture to something greater. Something greater than achieving a goal."                                          -FRIEDRICH NEITZSCHE You are right. I am not the man you wanted in life. I will not disgrace your feelings by denying that I betrayed you. I am guilty. Nobody would blame you if you left right now. Nobody will have the right to raise a finger on you if you killed me with your bare hands right now. I won't bat an eye if they hanged me for this betrayal. Maybe I deserve worse. Maybe I don't even deserve your hatred.  I'm sorry Miss Jain! Having said that, I have something else to say to you.   Here and now.  You can stop reading now and stick with the opt...

Hi there beautiful,     Another overwhelming night. Nothing serious happened today except for the fact that you texted me. Obviously like a total stranger. Talking business. That and I was told to empty my quarantine accommodation today. So tomorrow is gonna be a long difficult day. But that's besides the point.      Ever since you decided to pull the plug on our relationship, I've been sad and anxious and all things bad. I could't really pin point what the problem was. What is it that you did to me that's missing so badly. All my favorite things stopped being my favorite suddenly. Time won't go by. I can't sleep. I can't stay up.      The longings quickly gave way to anger, and anger, instead of leading to hatred, led to more longings.      I tried to think about it objectively. What is it that you're gonna do with your phone calls and messages that'll make my life bearable? You're not much of a sweet-talker. You've ...

 Hi there Beautiful,    It's been 24 hrs since you officially called it off. It is a new experience I'll admit. Over these ten years of knowing you I have often wondered how I'll ever take it when you left me. Don't get me wrong. I never imagined living without you. But you being you, have broken up with me a million times before. Some of those times felt almost as real as this. And I have had really varied experiences. I think I have lived through the entire spectrum of Psychiatric illnesses. Panic attacks in college, acute anxiety episodes in Babina, a full blown nervous breakdown before the obs exam. But then you always came back. And came back with such force that I forgot all about it, until the next time you broke up. But even then the old experiences stayed old. They'd never surface. Every fucked up break up was a new experience. A new trauma that you'd pull me out of. Every time I'd discover something new and ugly about me. And every time when you ca...